Although I grew up in the land of crunch and granola and now live in a town chock full of New York Times-reading, Subaru-driving, NPR-listening liberals, I still reserve some air of disdain for the growing legions of folks who ask for their lattes with soy, their bread with whole wheat and their chocolate cake vegan.

To be sure, I prefer my own bread seeded and hearty, and have tasted vegan chocolate goodies that rival even my beloved chocolate zucchini cake, but I similarly retain warm and fuzzy feelings toward McDonald’s french fries and greasy cheese pizza fresh from the neighborhood franchise.

That said, there are some things that I refuse to eat out of a plastic bottle. Mayonnaise is one of them.

I first discovered the joys of homemade mayo several years ago, on one of my many “pure foods only!” kicks. I located some simple instructions in the family’s “Joy of Cooking,” and got to making. Egg yolks, lemon juice, salt, pepper and oil were all that were required of the recipe.

I’ve made homemade mayo several times, but the batch I made yesterday was particularly sublime. Once you experience the rich complexity of homemade, I can guarantee you that you’ll never look at Hellman’s the same way again.

My camera was doing some psychedelic funny business, so I don’t have any quality photos to share with you. Instead, I’ll take you through the recipe with a couple of shots I found online. Photo credits below.

NOTE: Because this creamy goodness is fresh, fresh, fresh, you have to discard any leftovers after two to three days. Let’s not get salmonella, y’all.

1. Put two large egg yolks in a food processor or electric mixer.

2. Add three tablespoons of lemon juice to yolks.

3. Add a quarter teaspoon salt and a pinch of white or black pepper.

4. Blend together ingredients until smooth and light before adding in increments one cup of oil. I used Whole Foods’ 365 Organic Canola Oil this time, and it made for an amazing mayo. You can also try light olive oil, which won’t overwhelm the taste of the mayo.

5. Several minutes later, et voila! Abundant quantities of delicious, nutritious homemade mayonnaise! Enjoy with tuna, chicken or in a Waldorf-esque salad.

Photo credits: